Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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