Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize