Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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