Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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