It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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