We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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