Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
