I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
