You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
