Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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