can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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