Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
ttyl tear gas
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
MIDGETS
????
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
