tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
