I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
