Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your penis caused this!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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