their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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