Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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