So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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