In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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