We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
