So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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