you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
