jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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