I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
