5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We left the knife in your bed.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
