Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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