that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
