I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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