Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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