my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
