I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
God, I missed his penis.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
