he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You don't make any sense
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