I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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