but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
