wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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