Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
