The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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