I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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