no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize