I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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