i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
