this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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