i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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