One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
