did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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