Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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