I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
