i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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