We're facebook friends in real life
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
