Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
