Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
