the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
