I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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