and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
