Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
