I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
