Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
