you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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