how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
