just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
